Back to 1919!

That’s right, for all of you MAGA lovers who want to go back in time to the America you love, we’re slowly going back to 1919! More than a century ago, when men were well dressed like the start of Peaky Blinders right after the Great War, we didn’t know that was just the prequel yet. This is way before the Great Depression, the Civil Rights Act, and baby boomers running our society for their entire lifespan. A step back in time, take it with me. Family matters mattered more than work, unless you’re gay, and the church was the center of community, unless you’re gay. We just won a war and life is absolutely great, unless you’re gay. Tell me this isn’t what all my favorite cons want to get back to, and I have to reiterate one more time, unless you’re gay.

I can’t ruin this image for people who genuinely want to go back to it. There are plenty of people in love with this lifestyle. Retro dresses, mothers in the kitchen where some people think they belong, and their husbands who just came back from a hard day’s work, draining the Earth of as much oil as they could in just a few hours or working the coal mine or whatever it was, and this is the epitome of man, I guess. President Woodrow Wilson would suffer a stroke this year, but we’re not there yet. We’re at the beginning of the year, the calm before the storm. The ideal time for any con that would love nothing more than to be in their con household, living by the con ideal time, raising con sons and con daughters alongside a beautiful con wife, and always prepared for a Christian crusade in case God calls.

Why 1919? Sure, it’s the year after the Great War ended, but what happened here that someone like ME out of all people would say this is MAGA’s haven? Oh yeah, women couldn’t vote yet. The 19th Amendment was ratified in 1920, but it was passed by Congress in 1919. That’s right, it passed Congress in 1919, and the next year it became part of the land’s great law. After this, we could not discriminate voting rights based on sex. So maybe women didn’t fully get rights just yet, but sex wasn’t their disqualifying factor anymore. It would be other things, like reading comprehension, race, or whatever else the political class could come up with during that time. Seriously, we give rights to people and everything is okay in the world, as if there isn’t going to be a class of people trying their hardest to reverse that decision?

Luckily for you MAGA enthusiasts, we’re heading straight back to 1919! Back before women had a voice in our political structure. Back before they could hold power. Oh, wait, you didn’t realize that either? Yes, the 19th Amendment also gave women the right to hold office nationwide! They could in some cities and states before, but now its law of the land that we cannot discriminate against sex. Something that, looking back, should have been in our bill of rights is now a subject of political debate to some. Because some people can’t handle the fact that women are more than kitchen warmers.

So let me tell you why we’re going back, and you tell me if I’m wrong. Well, first things first, have you heard of the SAVE Act? It makes it harder for married women to vote. Of course it does. If it wasn’t a double standard, why don’t we make it so EVERYONE that’s married brings their marriage certificate, regardless of whether they change their name or not? Because it inconveniences men. Ever heard the saying that goes, “If men got periods, tampons and pads would be free in every restroom?” and then you scroll some more and find out that the Barbie movie came out before tampons were tested with real blood. Seriously, they started testing it in 2023. That means in about 11 years, blood-tested tampons are going to finally be noticed by men.

So why do libs hate the SAVE Act that these cons really like? It sets a secret double standard, and people know it does, and we can acknowledge it does. But people are only focused on women. Did you know that a good chunk of eligible voters don’t even have the required documentation needed, including their birth certificate, and half of Americans don’t have a passport? I mean I guess they could always get replacements, except wait, replacements cost money and the process can be a bit more complicated if you’ve changed your last name, and so if you start right now with how everything is happening and postal mail not needed to be delivered and passports being denied for a lot more convuleted reasons then maybe you can I guess try to get ready for the midterms in 2030.

But how is it 1919 just because we need more paperwork to vote? I told you. It also gave women power. Now we can agree most of every administration in U.S. history has been underqualified in a bunch of key areas, but it’s weird who gets the most trouble for when things go wrong. We saw Pam Bondi embarrass herself in front of Congress, and now MAGA has decided that, of course, she isn’t qualified for her position. Of course, that makes sense. And MAGA I agree. Anyone who has an entire department searching through KidHub uncensored and still decides that only one woman should be punished in a minimum security prison should probably be sentenced to whatever MAGA thinks we should do during the holy war. She’s in flames and not many people defend her, aside from maybe Faux News. Get it?

And I know you know me, so there’s no way I’m defending Pam Bondi for no reason. You’re right. Kristi Noem is getting replaced as Secretary of Homeland Security. And all the Libs out there are screaming and cheering, and of course! Finally, Kristi Noem is getting out! Hey libs! Who picks the replacement?! And then the cheering dies down as someone even less qualified fills that spot. A man, of course. So there weren’t a lot of women in the administration already, but now there’ll be one less. Make up a title and give her that, with fewer rights, she’ll be doing a lot of the same things she already does, just under a man to keep her in check. There are still a lot of people asking for Pam Bondi to be fired, so what happens after? It’s just weird that there are so many other secretaries and important roles with people who seem underqualified as well, and I won’t mention a bunch of people, mostly because I’ll have a harder time telling you who is qualified.

Women in politics are being treated like Kristi Noem’s puppy by MAGA. They’re too annoying, too untrainable, and deserve to be… Just remember, someone like that was responsible for immigrants in this country. If I got away with killing a puppy and got into politics, why would I change either? But let’s look at other women real quick. After these two, Karoline Levitt is probably one of the most influential names, being the press secretary. She’s the one whose cross gets bigger as she lies and looks visibly stressed anytime someone asks her a normal question. She’s really great at improvising answers on the spot. Now I get it because she’s supposedly pregnant by her 60-year-old husband, whom she married last year. As someone around her age, it’s a bit weird dating someone more than twice it. But her pregnancy might get her out of the game for a bit, but I’m sure a pretty face will come back eventually. You also have the former WWE CEO’s wife, Linda McMahon, as Secretary of Education. I mean, she has a teaching degree at least, even if it’s covered in webs. Kidding, rich people have handmaids that clean everything. Besides, there’s still a bunch of people trying to abolish the Department of Education, so that’d be another woman out of the picture. Susie Wiles, a permanent Karen cosplayer, actually is the first female Chief of Staff. Supposedly, she’s panicking now because the current world events are raising gas prices. Because she almost never gets mentioned and gets to hide under titles like “Trump’s staff” or “Trump’s aide”, I wanted to point out that there’s supposedly a war that’s going to start, and she’s more concerned about gas prices than your life and as the war plays out I’m sure we’ll see her name more until we decide we need someone more war ready to take over.

There aren’t many bills I can mention to fix this. For a group of people who are mostly men and claim to be straight, you guys have a hard time loving women. But don’t worry, I’ll show some love to your women for you. Insert wink emoji. I love women, getting to know them, and learning that they also have hopes and dreams, and a lot of them deserve the same voice and chance we have. There’s already so many things making it harder for women to be women in this patriarchal society. So when I see memes online showing maps of how voting districts would look if women couldn’t vote, I realize that there are still people who don’t give a fuck about what a woman has to say. And then I remember Grindr crashes during Republican conventions, and I put two and two together way better than MAGA does with Epstein Files. The cure is to just love women. Respect women. Let them be themselves. It’s weird how we have a nation filled with millions of women and we give dogs better treatment. Remember, there were hundreds of kings in Egypt, but the one you remember most is Queen Cleopatra. Cons always bring up whatever they want about the bible in the context of man and woman and serving and whatever, but why did Jesus tell people to pluck their own eyes?

Thanks for reading! Have a beautiful day! - PLROD!